For My Only Loved Woman
Dear Readers,
I know you are there. I get informed by the increasing numbers of visitors from all over the world. I just wish you could still bear with me and my English. Hoping you'll understand what I meant to say and how I personalised the feelings I wished to express to you . Please enjoy!
For the Only woman I loved!
It is almost dawn, time is ticking just prior to my departure. I made arrangements so that family would still manage through their first days until they get used to being independent.
The bag seemed to be heavy, yet I can feel like I am up to it. A thought that came to mind whispered saying to hold a crown you must bear with it. Travelling again, running away from the same stories of yesterday and hoping for another day.
Neighbours came to bid me farewell. However, I knew they were just acting out of courtesy not sincerity. No one seemed to fit with my fantasy world of loving, caring, being honest and hanging out for the pleasure of company and true laughters. I reminded my self that this journey should not repeatedly end in illusions as those precedents. I took a vow, swore to God that I'll change. A change to the money seeking little red hood who was able to defeat the cunning fox and save her nanny. A sweet promise and oath full of child's thoughts and pink vision.
I told my self it's ok to keep some of these purity for ever but never show them to anyone.
As the time passed, I settled on my plane to the new destination.(How long would it really need them to adapt without me?) I asked myself wondering how would grown up children launch their way in unpaved course real life full of multifaceted creatures named humans!?
The thread of thoughts dragged me back to the wish kept unfulfilled; to be someone's only loved woman!
People call love on food, landscapes prefecture, dresses and fancy living, kids, and even sex. I understand they meant it at that time, but how long did it last afterwards?
Passion is something that starts trivial and grows bigger and deeper as time passes. Passion is not addiction to someone or something or even habits. It's that feeling that keeps you willing to go on living, to find your inner motivation, and gets you back on the road whenever you lose track or need guidance. Passion is the campus of the soul. As I reached my own philosophy around Passion I was satisfied by being unaccumplished someone's sole love, unforgettable love and true love. (It is ok, at least I still hold on my passion philosophy,) I said to my self.
Lively and lively as I see myself reflection, I spent the long distant flight to my new destination where I am about to start a contract to work as a professional screenwriter at one of the Asian production companies. I am heading east, but probably my mind is still trapped at the west. No problem! We all are intended to face moments of separation followed by moments of gathering and acquaintance, then moments when you seek solitude as if you were charging energy to a comeback battle with the world. I have been a master of solitude as a writer I go there voluntarily but with a huge price to be paid upon leaving this solitary state. A cycle of ups and down, where you live in everyone's shoes so you can describe them and make their lives into complicated relations that ought to follow your plot but sometimes reality smash you on the face with even weirder treatment, so you think how to change adapting logically to the unlogic life tournaments
Months had passed since my arrival, I was a new version. I couldn't adapt any better to my new environment with my skills of being a fast learner and the love of speaking other languages. Soon family will follow my trace and translocation. Another cycle of new preparation should precedent their arrival.
Suddenly, I wondered did they adapt while I am being away? How far did they change from the ones I left back then?
Not so far.. a call was received, they decided to come for a visit not to stay. I have always been opened for being a friendly parent, not a domineering one, but that time I felt I was really needing them to stay in my life. I missed the feeling of being essential, undisposable parent. The fear of getting old and growing lonely scared my guts. But, what is life if you don't dare to live exploring, challenging and scouting. If I were them I would have made the same choice. No child feels the parental heart or the need to children's warmth,noise, fights and even disputes. Wonderful! Ha?!
This time I'll let them fly and spread true wings out of their comfort zone. While I feel the lack of being loved. It makes me more understanding for love. I should write more romance stories with a neat storyline and handsome hero falling in love with an average heroine so women get hope of being loved by men looking for inner beauty and not Miss world!!!
Yeah, this could certainly create a comedian vintage like movie for the oldies to entertain while the youngsters laugh or perhaps feel nostalgic. Whatever!
I get paid everymonth, for the passion I create so let it be once for my sake.
Let it 1be about a devoted lover who kept sacrificing for the only woman he ever loved.. how did she made him into a man and how she flooded along his veins throughout time.
Tell me, would you buy a story titled ( For the only woman I loved?).